A couple of poems

I was too scared to put these up before but here i am and here they are.

Rotten Fruit

A rotten relationship

Is what was left

Of what started out

As an adventurous lift

I hung on, clinging

To something dead and rotting

I tried to water and take care

But it dried up and died

Nevermind what I tried

We didn’t look forward to seeing each other

Knowing an argument was just around the corner

Our smiles, hugs and all was fake

Pretending to feel for each others’ sake

We let it go on

For way too long

We had to say goodbye

But always decided to try

My mind falls apart

The bleeding of my heart

Your frustrate me, aggravate me

What I want, you cannot give me

Numb

I get high to numb myself

But feelings creep back in

I try to forget you

Thinking that’s how I’ll get through

I cannot face it

I’m scared I could lose it

An empty feeling grows inside

A massive part of me has died

I want to push you away to forget

But it doesn’t work that way I regret

I can’t face it

I’m so scared

My mind brings you out

In my nightmares

I want to forget

But it’s too long to kill yet

I don’t want to feel

What I’m feeling inside

I don’t want to think

I don’t want to cry

I’m about to explode

But no one knows

I’m about to crack

And never look back

I’m losing my mind

My head is numb

Too much thinking

When nothing can be done

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Once again, thoughts twirl round and round in my head

I try to chase them away, but think even more instead

Many once started, over and gone

What do I keep doing wrong?

The pattern of a childhood

Is in no way new

Hope given that things could be different and better

But once again I find myself cold, with no shelter

Loneliness drove me to sway

I couldn’t stand the thought of another day

No one to hold me

No one to warm me

Cold nights, empty days

What did I think I’d gain

More emotional trouble

Now seems to have doubled

Take care of my heart

What is needed to start

I came here alone

To make something of me

I’ll leave here alone

Something made of me

I’m back again to a place I just can’t get out of

I’m falling again, drowning soul without love

Is it that I can’t see what’s given to me

Or is it real that there’s no one but me?

I’m all alone, again

It’s all been done, again

When I was climbing up the hill

I didn’t see the way I’d fall down

When I finally had the will

It all just came crashing down

When everyone around me, doesn’t seem to care

I just want someone to show me, that I’m really there

Don’t ignore me

Don’t look at me

Don’t scrutinize me

Why do you stare at me?